Never Gonna Give It Up

« December 2012 »

Memo to RIchard Mourdoch, Allen West, and Michelle Bachmann: YOU ARE DUMB.

We've moved beyond sour grapes. We've moved beyond the cheap, nasty whine made from the sour grapes. and we've now reached the point where the vinegar made from that whine is managing to go bad, which believe me, is not easy. Six weeks after the location, and Republicans aren't even licking their wounds, they're running around, covered in their own blood, and generally being IDIOTS who SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS.

"In our case, we found our campaign caught in the liberal media crosshairs. Never has Indiana seen a more obvious example of media bias by reporters more interested in defeating conservatives than reporting the news. We fought back and invested heavily in a last-minute push to combat the slew of false accusations Democrats and the liberal media churned up to distract voters." - Ashlee Walls, trying to raise money for her boss, RIchard Mourdock.

You remember Richard Mourdock, right? He's the "Rape Babies Are What God Intended" guy. I don't know if he'd have won the election if he hadn't said God wants you to raise your rape baby, but it certainly didn't help him.

So if voters were distracted, it wasn't by false accusations churned by the liberal media, it was by Richard Mourdock being a reprehensible, sociopathic pro-life nutjob. A fact that, yes, was reiterated by the Democratic Party and the liberal media, because that shit is important for voters to know. Sometimes, the system works. Sort of.

"I’m a warrior and I’m a statesman and I’m a servant of this republic. I’m not going away just because of a congressional race where he seems to have to cheat to beat me. - Allen West, not going away.

First, you're not a warrior anymore because you put a gun to an Iraqi prisoner's head and fired it. Second, you're not a statesman, because two years in Congress before getting kicked out on your ass does not a statesman make. You're just an asshole.

But let's pretend your baseless, inexplicable charge that Patrick Murphy "cheated" somehow were true. Well, in that case, you ARE in fact going away because of a congressional race where someone had to cheat to beat you. That's how elections work. Al Gore had to go away when Bush cheated to beat him, because Bush beat him.

You got beat. Think you got cheated all you want if it makes widdums feel better, but you still got beat and you're still going away.

"That’s why we need to know what their belief system is; we need to know what they truly believe. That’s why the most important thing a person could do in WWII was to read the book that the leader of Germany wrote. Because he laid out very clearly what his intention was, he wasn’t hiding it, the Islamist does the same thing. They do not hide it, they lay it out very clearly. But what we’ve never seen before is the United States aiding and abetting that goal." -- Michele Bachmann, providing good news and bad news.

I'd prefer a quote from her complaining about why she lost to Jim Graves six weeks ago, but the Sixth is still 1.2% more shithead than it needs to be, so instead, we get Bachmann comparing Muslims to Hitler because, I shit you not, Muslims asked Homeland Security to stop using training materials from clinically insane anti-Caliphate types.

So what's the good news? Bachmann doesn't give a fuck. The 2012 election taught her nothing, she thinks her bread is still buttered with crazy, and that means we can keep hope alive for 2014. Or as much hope as we merry cynics can manage to muster, at least.