I'll Stop When They Stop

« December 2012 »

Memo to House conservatives, conservatives, and Senate conservatives: YOU ARE DUMB.

I know I spend a lot of time talking about how conservatives are stupid dickheads on this website, but they keep fucking proving it. SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!

Did you hear about the purge? There was a purge, you know. A huge ideologial purge. Borderline pogrom, in fact. I'd call it ethnic cleansing, but it was a Republican purge, and really, by this point, all they can manage is some light ethnic dusting, in every possible sense of the phrase. But it definitely was a purge. Just ask Rand Paul.

"So, basically if you believe in the balanced budget amendment, which says we balance in five years, you're purged. If you believe, oh, we'll slow down the rate of growth -- maybe -- over the rate of 28 years when many in Congress won't even be living, you'll be purged." - Rand Paul, bingeing on purging.

Yes, a purge of epic proportions. Four, count 'em, four Republican congressman got kicked off of committees for bucking House leadership. That's the purgiest purge that ever purged a purge. Four congressman pissed off the guy that decides who's on committees, and got kicked off committees. This is America, where everyone has the freedom to piss off their boss and not be mildly penalized for it, right? Fucking whiners.

In a recent poll by Public Policy Polling, 49% of surveyed Republicans said they believe ACORN helped Barack Obama steal the election. ACORN went bankrupt in 2010, after Republicans blamed them for stealing the 2008 election and hounded them with false accusations until they stopped existing.

Now, don't get me wrong. These polls from PPP are largely designed to embarrass Republicans by asking them outlandish questions that they'll be too stupid to answer correctly. They did one around Halloween that found a significant number of Republicans believe in demonic possession. But still.

Most of these people weren't actually paying attention to ACORN when it actually was a going concern. They were told to hate it, and they dutifully hated it. They weren't told ACORN was gone, because if it was gone, they'd stop hating it, and that wouldn't be helpful to the general right-wing cause at all.

So, when presented with the question "Did ACORN help Obama steal the election", you don't have to have actively thought that before you were asked in order to agree with it. You just have to be stupid, and kind of a dick.

And speaking of blind, ignorant hate towards organizations based on the word of the Republican noise machine, the Senate couldn't ratify a United Nations treaty on the rights of the disabled that 126 other countries managed to ratify BECAUSE UNITED NATIONS.

"I do not support the cumbersome regulations and potentially overzealous international organizations with anti-American biases that infringe upon American society." - Oklahoma's Jim Inhofe, who probably thought the disabled people were going to get gun control and solar power out of the deal.

Guys, guys. You're doing it wrong. You're supposed to demonize the UN in public to get the rubes on your side. It's an act. Only suckers and morons actually believe the UN is going to drop anti-American wheelchairs out of their black helicopters... oh. Right. Senate Republicans.

Carry on.