Archive - Jul 6, 2007

It Didn't Change Crazy

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Memo to Hugh Hewitt: YOU ARE DUMB.

Holy crap. I have to admit, I've long thought the blatant necrofetishizing of September 11 by the movers and shakers of the right wing was essentially a cold, calculated corpsefucking. You know, they treat it like they treat strictly procreative sex. They may enjoy it, but the most important thing is that they get something out of it later.

But reading Hugh Hewitt's latest, I'm starting to doubt that's strictly true. I mean, yes, the political mileage they get out of hanging the "horrendous attack" millstone around our collective necks is wonderful for them, but I think Hugh actually believes this shit. And that's scary.

This revelation came by way of a blog post at Townhall.com, ostensibly for the purpose of blowing smoke up Rudy Giuliani's ass. The stimulus for the response was a Boston Globe article, a bit of political fluff speculating about whether Rudy Giuliani could be "over-playing the 9/11 card". The answer to which, of course, is "it depends on the audience". To rational, sane people, of course he can overplay it. But Rudy doesn't need the support of rational or sane people to do well. He needs the support of people like Hugh Hewitt, who get their secret panties in a secret bunch at the very idea that Rudy could be exploiting The Day Everything Changed for political gain. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"9/11 is, of course, not a "card" at all, but a devastating attack on the country that despite its horrible toll could have been even worse --far, far worse if the terrorists had been better skilled in their selection of targets and luckier in their logistics that morning. The Boston Globe's headline perfectly conveys the left's understanding of 9/11 --a political event that it fears works for the Republicans and especially Giuliani. The center-right understands 9/11 as the defining moment of our era, and Giuliani's response to it a model of leadership in the still extraordinarily dangerous times in which we live."

The wrong starts three words in, with the rhetorical "of course" preceding that which is in fact off course. Let's break it down. First, "devastating". I know it's one of the officially accepted adjectives we're required to place in front of "attacks", but you know what? It's been almost six years. We've got some time to get some perspective. Some broader historical and temporal perspective. And "devastating" overstates the case by quite a bit.

A fact, by the way, that Hewitt seems to want to acknowledge with his NEXT wrong thing - that what the 9/11 terrorists got was in fact a small fraction of what they could have gotten had they tried harder or been luckier. How much luckier could they have gotten? I guarantee you Osama Bin Laden was as surprised as I was when both towers fell. The reason there haven't been more 9/11's since 9/11 isn't because our daddies, Bush and Rudy, have kept the bad men away. It's because 9/11 was way at the tip end of their operational bell curve. They got about as lucky as they're ever gonna get.

I'm forever astonished at the same people who talk about every other word out of Democrats' mouths emboldening the terrorist are more than willing to declare a successful terrorist attack "the defining moment of our era". Bullshit. Compare the number of people killed by terrorists in any given week, nationwide, to the number of people spanking it to porn on the Internet in the same time period. The invention of TCP/IP is an era-defining moment. Plane hits building is only era-defining if we all act like Hugh Hewitt and worship it as such.

But the really scary and crazy part comes a bit later - so scary and crazy that I've left Hewitt's own bolding intact.

"For a much more objective understanding of Giuliani's appeal --one that understands 9/11 as a crisis that is ongoing, not as theater nearing the end of its run-- read the Wall Street Journal's..." - The rest is bullshit promoting the Journal.

Excuse me? 9/11 as an ONGOING CRISIS? For fuck's sake, I can't even subscribe to his STRAW MAN, that I, as a member of the left, thinks of it as "nearing the end of its run". Hugh, you malignant fuck, that play closed YEARS ago on Broadway. At best, you've got a handful of devoted fanboys who've rented out a theater in Branson and are putting it on for a crowd of dozens each weekend.

But Hugh the Branson Fanboy would have us believe that "In the GOP, 9/11 isn't a prop or a card, but the plumb line which must first be judged right before any other position is taken into account." A statement, which, if true, is both terrifying and heartening. Terrifying because these people have internalized "TEH ISLAMZ ARE COMING" to such a degree that it trumps all the other crazy single issues, from embryo fetishism to the flat tax, that have driven the GOP for decades.

And heartening, because the last time they tried to pull that shit was last November, and it didn't go very well for them. And if their belief is really as true and as fervent as Hugh Hewitt's seems to be, they won't stop playing the card even when it keeps losing. Every moron has a silver lining. Or at least enough mercury in their bloodstream to LOOK like one.