Archive - Jul 3, 2007

Racebating

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Memo to the Roberts/Alito Court: THANK YOU IN ADVANCE.

Now, if you're one of those knee-jerk, moonbat, leftist, limousine, lipstick liberals who I hear control the media, you're probably aghast at the Supreme Court's 5-4 decision next week with dismay. "Oh noes!" you are proclaiming on your Daily Koses... Kosi... Ki? "The dark days of segregation are back!"

And really, that's just racist. Why do they have to be the DARK days of segregation? Allow me to posit instead that the 5-4 decision has, instead, ushered in the LIGHT days of segregation.

Here's the thing. I'm not a legal scholar, so I have to assume that when I hear the majority decided that race couldn't be used as a factor for improving the diversity of schools, I'm the one that's missing something. I mean, sure, to my layman's ears it seems insane that attempts to increase racial diversity would locate students based on anything OTHER than race, but everything I know about the legal system I gleaned from Matlock parodies, so I'm guessing the keen legal minds on the highest court in the land would scoff at my naive, oversimplified "logic".

I mean, sure, when I hear Chief Justice Roberts, in his majority opinion, actually say "The way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to stop discriminating on the basis of race," my initial reaction was probably the same as yours. Because it certainly SOUNDS like the kind of bullshit homily that would spew from the mouth of a privileged white male right-winger who conveniently ignores power dynamics and social context in order to project his version of equality on a fundamentally unequal situation.

But someone like that wouldn't be the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, breezing through confirmation hearings while noncombative Democrats smiled and pretended to ask tough questions. No, there must be something else at play. And then I realized what it was. The Roberts Court is actually FORWARD-THINKING, and are trying to pre-emptively solve our future Jenas before they happen.

If you don't know about Jena, you should. The short version - a Louisiana school. A "whites only" tree that white students hung out under. Black student sits under tree. Nooses are hung from tree. Fights break out. White kids beat up black kids. Black kids beat up white kids. Black kids get charged with attempted murder.

It's an ugly, ugly situation, and as Roberts and his four cohorts understand all too well, the fault can be lain squarely at the feet of the race-based determination of tree diversity. I mean, the town's population is only 12% black. In a truly equal society, the white kids would get a tree, and the black kids would get 12% of a tree. You know, a bush or a shrub or something. But instead, they tried to achieve a stated diversity goal, and ended up provoking rural white Louisianans to respond in the only way they knew how - intimations of lynching.

Thanks to the Roberts/Alito Supreme Court though, ugliness like this will soon be a thing of the past. Once people stop encountering different people long enough, eventually they'll forget they hate them. And Martin Luther King's dream can finally be achieved. Thanks, Supremes!